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‘An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away’ copypasta

Imagine you walk in to a doctors office, granny smith in hand. The doctor walks in to the waiting room, upon locking eyes with you, he falls to his knees, pleading for his life "please sir I have a wife and a baby on the way" but you don't care. As you raise your hand to your mouth, the receptionist stands up to stop you, but it's too late. As your teeth sink into the green flesh, the sound of the crunch echoes off the white painted walls, moments before a shockwaves blasts from your mouth. With mere moments to react, the doctor is expelled away while all others remain unscathed. The spine of the Man blasted is fractured in several places, instantly paralysing him. Unable to move or do anything at all, the podiatrist is splayed against the walls like a mouse in a glue trap. His eyes barely focus on you before the structural integrity of the strip mall office decreases to such an extent that cracks begin to form in the foundation. A hole just large enough for the doctor to be pushed through emerges. A single tear rolls down his cheek as he is blasted into the void of outer space at a speed of approximately 96.341% the speed of light.

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